Don’t wait until its too late.

I know a lot about my dad but not everything.  My biggest regret is that when I finished school I was going to get to know him better because he was such a fascinating man.

He died Feb. 5th 1989.  I took the bar Feb 20th / 21st 1989.

He had a massive heart attack and died at Carraway Hospital.  I was with him when I died.  I was working as a cardiac nurse at Carraway Hospital.  I met him in the emergency room.

I wrote a poem about this experience and it was published in a nursing magazine.

Dad’s lungs were gurgling so loud I could hear it without a stethescope.  He was drowning.  The nurse “Perkins” was wondering around looking for his stethescope.  I told the nurse he was allergic to Lidocaine.  They gave it to him anyway.  I picked up the phone in the emergency room and paged Dr. Hess to the emergency room stat.  There was nothing that could be done at that point.

Dad simply waited to late to seek medical care.  I tried to get him to go a couple of days earlier when he first started having chest pain as I knew he needed open heart surgery,  I had spoken to his cardiologist. Dad refused to go not wanting to incur medical bills.  Medical bills don’t matter if you die. He could have gone to the VA but he refused.

Maybe if I had not have been studying for the bar I could have talked him into going to the doctor sooner than I did.  I don’t know.  Dad was pretty stubborn.

I lost my favorite guy that night.  I experienced a sharp pain in my heart.  It was the worst night of my life at that point.

My husband at that time had told me I could not go to the hospital.  I went anyway.

We buried him next to my mother in the Cullman City Cemetary even though they were divorced. They neither one ever remarried.  A story for another day.

The best thing about this story is that a year earlier I had started speaking to him again.  I decided I was a bigger person and wanted time with my dad.  I just never mentioned it again.

I had refused to talk to him for a year because he had hired a lawyer to sue me.  I had bought a truck from a Cullman bank, and dad really liked the truck.  I let him take over the truck payments.  When he paid it off he could not get a title.  How this was my problem I did not know.  I told the lawyer dad must be getting senile.  Now I know we would have had a lawsuit against the bank.  Why that lawyer did not sue the bank or even ask me to sue the bank is something I will never know.


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