Author Archives: Make Your Life Easier

About Make Your Life Easier

I have been a lawyer for over 2 decades. I have been a mother for over 34 years. I have two grandchildren. That makes me sound old! Ok. (little white lie!) I am still 29. Its a miracle. I have a general law and bankruptcy practice in Tarrant, Alabama (Birmingham, Alabama). I have a greenhouse I experiment with. I love to read. I don't have much time. I love to learn! This blog is to share my knowledge and wisdom with you. This sharing of knowledge of course is with the shared knowledge that I have not interviewed you and that I do not know all the facts pertaining to your case and even if I did you have not signed a contract. The advice I give is general in nature and the advice might change if we sat down and talked about your particular facts.....

Keep smoking and save money!

So you have to smoke…. Can you save money here?

Choices: Are you in a two-pack a day habit? Are you spending $300.00 a month on cigarettes? Is spending this money causing you to loose your car? Do you want to smoke and walk to work? Can you quit smoking and have the money to pay for your car so you can drive to work?

Cigarette options – If you have to smoke– roll your own!! You can buy tobacco by the pound bag, purchase a box of flavored filters, and roll cigarettes all day long to your hearts content. If you don’t like the flavor get another flavor. Try a different brand of tobacco.

You will probably spend $40.00 per month instead of $5.00 per day x 7 days x 4.3 weeks or $150.00 a month for a one pack a day smoker. “I have to smoke my Virginia Slims or my Camels.” When you smoke and cannot pay your mortgage payment or cannot pay your car payment, perhaps you have champagne taste with a beer pocketbook?

It is a lifestyle choice. You can make the choice to roll your own cigarettes, and smoke all you want to smoke for about $40.00 a month, after the small investment of a rolling machine. You can buy a cigarette rolling machine at the tobacco store for probably less than $100.00 for the machine. Then you can purchase the flavor of tobacco that you want and a box of filters with the taste of your choice!

Of course, you could save more money and medical bills later on of course by quitting.

My brother died of throat cancer a few years ago.

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Save money on your cable bill!!!

CHOICES – CABLE

Are you spending $200.00 a month on cable, dish, satellite television, etc.? Shut down the cable beast forever! Take the plunge! If you are having a hard time paying your bills each month, and you have both cable and internet, seriously consider shutting off the cable and buying a Roku device or an internet ready television.

Roku

The Roku brings internet television to your television set through your internet. The Roku has channels you can subscribe to, a lot of them for free. If you buy an internet ready television you will not need a Roku but you can get one if you want to as it has a lot of nice features. You can order a Roku on line or purchase one from Best Buy or Radio Shack or Wal-Mart, etc. You can listen to the Roku channels with head phones. You can pause your television while watching movies with the Roku, which cable charges you extra for the privilege of doing. Roku is a one-time purchase and it has no monthly fees of its own. We have done this personally. We actually turned off Charter Cable after 20 years because of the new digital boxes that they wanted to charge you for. We had 6 kids each with their own television and we would have been paying over $50.00 a month just for the boxes and I put my foot down and said, “No more.”

HINT: Take a picture of your cable connections on the back of your television with you when you go to the store, as older televisions have to have an adaptor (maybe $25.00) to use the Roku with them. There are three types of Roku’s and we have bought each kind depending on the technology of the television we hooked it up to. Some older television’s we had to buy an adaptor for, newer television’s you do not. We have 101 channels on our Roku set up on our television.

Antennae

You can get a lot of regular television channels out of the air waves. Purchase the best antennae you can afford. They sell antennae’s starting at $10.00 and up. We also bought several kinds of antennae’s and experimented taking back the ones that did not work. My son was a trooper. He would go to Radio Shack, buy an antennae for a television and if it did not work well enough, would take that antennae back and buy another one. Some of the antennae’s are flat. Some of them are built with wires. To begin with when I cut the cable off , out of desperation, he actually made antennae’s with a wire coat hanger, tin foil, and other stuff he found around the house for free and it worked! For what you are saving on cable you can buy a more expensive antennae and experiment with the angles for the best reception. At that time I was working on buying Roku’s one at a time. * Roku’s at 100.00 a pop is a hard lick if you are not anticipating it. If you cannot figure out how to hook this stuff up hire a geek. TIP. If you hire a geek write down step by step instructions in case of a power surge. It is simple enough I can do it, and I have trouble just using those complicated remotes. Of course, I have my son to call and say, Ryan, which button?

NETFLIX

You can purchase Netflix for $7.99 a month, which allows two people to watch two different movies or episodes of different television series at the same time. Netflix has over 9000 movies. Entire series of many shows are available on Netflix. The neat thing about Netflix is each person can have their own profile and when you stop watching a show it stays put, right there, right where you stopped it when you turned the television back on to that channel. We pay $14.99 a month for the ability for four people to watch Netflix at the same time.

Amazon Prime

You can purchase Amazon Prime for $99.00 per year and add this as a channel to your Roku. For less than $20.00 a month you can now have all the television and movies you could watch in a lifetime. With Amazon Prime you get an additional bonus. You can order a lot of stuff off Amazon and you get free two-day shipping. They also have free picture storage. You also get thousands of free Kindle Titles you can borrow at the rate of one book per month.

With the Roku or the internet television a big bonus is that all the seasons for many series are prerecorded. You do not have to pay extra to start and stop television if you want to take a snack break, or talk on the phone. You do not have to pay extra money monthly for a machine to record the movies. You do not have to take the time to program a DVR, the movies and television shows are already recorded for you. You can see all the television and movies you can handle. Another bonus is that you can watch all the television you want to watch without advertising! Savings: $185.00 a month!!!

What is the wildest excuse someones given to the police?

This was real.  My children were fighting on the way to school.  Imagine that?   I pulled over on the side of the road to get on to them.  I said, “We aren’t going anywhere until you quit fighting – if we sit here all day.”  I meant it.  Just then a policeman knocked on my window,  He said, “Do you know why I pulled you over?”  I said you didn’t pull me over I stopped because they were fighting.  Baffled he said, “You ran a stop sign back there.”  I said, “I probably did.  I couldn’t think because they were fighting so bad so I pulled over.  I said “While you are here, please tell them this is dangerous and they could cause me to get in a wreck.”  He admonished them and walked away.  I did not get a ticket.  I truly never saw him when I stopped.

Don’t wait until its too late.

I know a lot about my dad but not everything.  My biggest regret is that when I finished school I was going to get to know him better because he was such a fascinating man.

He died Feb. 5th 1989.  I took the bar Feb 20th / 21st 1989.

He had a massive heart attack and died at Carraway Hospital.  I was with him when I died.  I was working as a cardiac nurse at Carraway Hospital.  I met him in the emergency room.

I wrote a poem about this experience and it was published in a nursing magazine.

Dad’s lungs were gurgling so loud I could hear it without a stethescope.  He was drowning.  The nurse “Perkins” was wondering around looking for his stethescope.  I told the nurse he was allergic to Lidocaine.  They gave it to him anyway.  I picked up the phone in the emergency room and paged Dr. Hess to the emergency room stat.  There was nothing that could be done at that point.

Dad simply waited to late to seek medical care.  I tried to get him to go a couple of days earlier when he first started having chest pain as I knew he needed open heart surgery,  I had spoken to his cardiologist. Dad refused to go not wanting to incur medical bills.  Medical bills don’t matter if you die. He could have gone to the VA but he refused.

Maybe if I had not have been studying for the bar I could have talked him into going to the doctor sooner than I did.  I don’t know.  Dad was pretty stubborn.

I lost my favorite guy that night.  I experienced a sharp pain in my heart.  It was the worst night of my life at that point.

My husband at that time had told me I could not go to the hospital.  I went anyway.

We buried him next to my mother in the Cullman City Cemetary even though they were divorced. They neither one ever remarried.  A story for another day.

The best thing about this story is that a year earlier I had started speaking to him again.  I decided I was a bigger person and wanted time with my dad.  I just never mentioned it again.

I had refused to talk to him for a year because he had hired a lawyer to sue me.  I had bought a truck from a Cullman bank, and dad really liked the truck.  I let him take over the truck payments.  When he paid it off he could not get a title.  How this was my problem I did not know.  I told the lawyer dad must be getting senile.  Now I know we would have had a lawsuit against the bank.  Why that lawyer did not sue the bank or even ask me to sue the bank is something I will never know.

Learning how to cope with anger and five years later!

Learning how to cope with anger.  How to cope with anger?  I very rarely get angered at someone.  Why not?

Step –   First and foremost put yourself in someone else’s place.  No – that’s not literal.  This is a mental exercise.  How can that be possible you ask?   If you can understand their perspective, their position, the facts they rely on when making the assumption that you have somehow unintentionally wronged them… If you can figure out how to put yourself in their shoes, you simply can’t get mad at someone …no matter how much a fool they make of themselves.  You can get so good at analyzing behavior that you will very rarely if ever get mad.  If you get mad start the process over again so that next time it will not be for long.  Its okay. Life is a long process full of learning.  You only get better with it in time.  Being slow to anger is a learned skill … possibly a dying art… that I am alone trying to revive?  No… of course not.  Courts order people to anger management classes all the time.  These classes are designed to help folks figure out how to control their anger.  What’s in these classes?  I have no idea.  I was never court ordered to go.

Fundamentally, each person comes into the world with his or her own perspective as his or her upbringing, his or her own history of interactions and reactions with other people, and even more – the very essence of his or her day to day existence is unique.  You can get to the point where you unconsciously analyze them for each of these factors.  Each person is raised different and has different morals.  Each person has different influences in their lives – school / educational facilities by whatever name – teachers, janitors, lunchroom ladies, staff;  employment – bosses, co employees, subordinates; home – their parents and their perspective, some relative or person that is raising them’s perspective, and the discipline or lack thereof;  church – sunday school teachers, friends, pastors, preachers; clubs – volunteer activities, speakers, social activities, bars, groups by whatever name; and just daily interactions with others at the grocery store, any store; driving – someone with road rage, some grandpa driving along enjoying the breezes….  The list is endless.  There are as many different exposures in a persons life as there are people in different walks of life.  No two persons are the same with their experiences and exposures.  This does not mean its impossible to understand them.

How far did they go in school?  What type of jobs have they had?  Who have they been working with?  Why did they make the choices they made to end them up here?  Something happened in their lives to bring them to this point.  What is the most logical reason that they are mad at you right now?  Is something you did a trigger to cause them to act this way.  Analyze.  Be honest in your analysis.

Step –  Be creative in your analysis.  Until you get good at this perhaps you can get over being mad at them by thinking of creative reasons that they are mad.  “Their underwear are too tight. (akin to the phrase their panties are in a wad).”  —“They have a jerk of a spouse.”  “Their spouse probably set them off this am.” —-  “They are wearing the color orange and it probably is making them gag but their favorite aunt gave them that shirt.  I’d be irritated to.” Of course an age old favorite – “She’s on her period.”  “Perhaps they are in pain.  The cast they are wearing is tight?”  “Perhaps they worked to late the night before.”  “Their life is really stressful.” “They are a teenager dealing with hormones.”

Step – If you still can’t figure it out ask them.  Often they won’t know.  They can’t rationalize.  They are mad.  They aren’t thinking straight.  You may not be able to reason with them at this point.  That’s okay.  Folks cannot always take personal responsibility for their actions when they can’t see the forest for the trees.  You might have to wait on them to calm down.  Different people stay mad for different periods of time.

Step- Apologize even if its not your fault.  Apologize if its a misunderstanding.  Apologize if it’s there fault. Why?  Who’s going to remember in five years?  Be the bigger person.

Step  – As soon as I figure out how or why they are mad I don’t retaliate.  I forgive.  I forget.  I move on.  Life has more in it than anger for me.  I am not going to waste my time further on a fruitless endeavor of getting someone un-mad at me.  This is a process that they have to get over and get through themselves.  I say, “I’m sorry.  It’s all my fault it if’s little and really doesn’t matter.  The only reason my husband and I survived my first year of marriage is that instead of getting mad after the first month of marital un-bliss – his yelling and misunderstanding – I finally started saying, “I’m sorry.  It’s all my fault.”  After a few days of doing this he then yelled, “It’s not always yourself.”  See sometimes you can’t win for loosing.  So does it really matter?  Let them stay mad until they can figure this out for themselves.  He has given up on getting mad at me very often as it is truly an exercise in futility.  In fact, and this is really funny…. I got mad at him momentarily a week or so ago and then an hour later I asked him, “Why was I mad at you?”  Neither of us could remember.  When your reach that point you know this was not all for nothing.  We laughed and I thought…. it must be that five year later period that got here quicker than I thought…..

Step  – If all that fails what else do I do?  I analyze for myself, will this matter in five years?  No?  Well why is it so important right now?  Will it matter in three years?  No?  What about two? one?  What about six months from now?  three months?  next month? tomorrow?  Okay will it matter in an hour?  Is there something I’d really like to be doing rather than fighting?  My favorite show? shopping? reading a book? blogging? researching something?  I don’t know about you…but there’s always something I’d rather be doing.  There is really beauty all around when there’s peace at home.  There are birds in the backyard.  There are squirrels playing with nuts, climbing trees and doing their squirrel thing.  There are dogs wanting you to throw a ball with them.  There are children that want to be pushed in a swing.  There is a walk in a park that is begging for you to take. There might be (sigh) dishes that need done, homework that needs done, stuff you brought home from work to do.  If nothing else cook something good.  Why fight?  Is it to enjoy the peace and quiet when it finally arrives?  Analyze.

Step  – If you can’t forgive and forget at this point, go to a counselor…. write a letter and throw it away…run….exercise…get a punching bag….  Whatever you do don’t retaliate.  Don’t lower yourself to their level.  Don’t  curse back.  Do defend yourself if they are hurting you of course.  Do not be a punching bag.  Do call the police if necessary.  If you can walk away, walk.  It’s easy.  Put one foot in front of the other.  Walk the other way.  Keep walking.  Get in a car and drive. Distance can put perspective on the fight.

Step – Yell at the top of your lungs….  curse….  call names… act a fool… Okay.  Do you feel better now or do you feel kinda stupid or childish….Did you make the matter worse or better?  Did they just yell back because you were yelling.  Did you hurt their feelings and did that make you feel better?  Did you make yourself feel better?  Did you have a stroke?  Are you now in the hospital because you got so mad you see purple or red or black?  Well, okay, you guessed it.  This is not a step I recommend but if you have such loose control over yourself that you have to engage in yelling, go for it but after you have yelled once and gotten it out of your system and they are still yelling, analyze.  Did this do any good?  Nope, probably not.  So go on to another step.  Repeat a step.  It doesn’t matter.  Just work with whatever step or steps that makes it easier for you to handle this situation.

Step – As you know, but perhaps never considered, how did they get where they are?  Why am I fortunate to not be there?  Am I jealous of them in their position?  Do I have underlying emotions involved in this matter.   Analyze.

Below here are some links to many similar quotes.

Somewhere in word press there is an awesome Budda quote which I will repeat here as I have no idea how to find it again, but the quote was:

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.  Budda.

Make understanding such an integral part of your behavior that after the analysis takes over you forgive and truly forget.

As a side note, in the past my husband would get really mad at me because I could not later remember why he was mad or even that he was until I saw his face with his lips pouting. Then I would have to ask, “Why are you mad at me again?”  He used to get mad because I couldn’t remember why he was mad.  Then he would be mad at me even longer.  I mean he would go without speaking to me for days and weeks.  Now he realizes that I truly have forgiven and forgotten or he realizes I am not going to indulge his anger. I prefer the former as a rationale. The beauty of rationalization is you can pick whatever you want as a justification for their anger and then not be mad at them and you don’t have to be right.  You only have to convince yourself that is an acceptable excuse for that behavior.  I am telling how I cope and how with practice you can cope easily as well.

Fundamentally, each person comes into the world with his or her own perspective as upbringing, his own history of interactions and reactions with other people, the very essence of his or her day to day existence.  If you practice you will be able to unconsciously analyze them for this.  Each person is raised different and has different morals.  As you know, but perhaps never considered, EVERY PERSON IN PRISON USED TO BE SOMEONE’S CHILD.  How did they get there? Why am I fortunate to not be there?  Why did they make the choices they made to end them up there?  Are their parents in prison with them?  Often not.  Something happened in their lives to make them take a wrong step, a wrong choice.  Influences.  Analyze.  Rationalize.  Justify.  Do whatever it takes —-but get understanding because with understanding comes wisdom.  With wisdom get patience.  With patience comes understanding and it goes around full circle.

Below here are some links to many similar quotes.

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.  Alex Witchel 1998 How a Rogue turns himself into a saint.

Here are some of the examples I found, including two from the 12-Step tradition:

Given that two of our earliest sources by M.T. and “Elizabeth L.” are from the 12-step traditions, it seemed possible — likely even — that the quote had “Anonymous” origins.

And this vague suspicion of an AA origin for the quote remained with me for a long time until Joakim (see the comments below) helped me out with a reference, telling me that the quote was to be found in a 1930’s book calledThe Sermon on the Mount, by Emmet Fox. That didn’t seem to be quite the case. The exact quote isn’t there, but there is a passage that is an obvious prototype.

Gautama Buddah in good reads

Mitch Albom > Quotes > Quotable Quote

“Holding anger is a poison…It eats you from inside…We think that by hating someone we hurt them…But hatred is a curved blade…and the harm we do to others…we also do to ourselves.”

Holding on to anger is like grasping  a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. Buddha

If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?

William Shakespeare

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/poison.html#idKOR0FoIzrccS3S.99

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Mark Twain

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/marktwain120156.html#tU7yQqdSkwXOZheZ.99

Images for anger quotes

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. ~Malachy McCourt and other anger quotes

If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size? ~Sydney J. Harris There is nothing more galling to angry people than the coolness of those on whom they wish to vent their spleen. ~Alexandre Dumas Life is too short to hold a grudge, also too long. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com He who angers you conquers you. ~Elizabeth Kenny For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness. ~Author Unknown Anger is one letter short of danger. ~Author Unknown Anger ventilated often hurries toward forgiveness; and concealed often hardens into revenge. ~Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. ~Will Rogers Never write a letter while you are angry. ~Chinese Proverb Get mad, then get over it. ~Colin Powell The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn’t angry enough. ~Bede Jarrett Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. ~Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller’s Housekeeping Hints, 1966 Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath. ~Eckhart Tolle Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. ~Baptist Beacon Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. ~Mark Twain, a Biography Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. ~Malachy McCourt Take no revenge that you have not pondered beneath a starry sky, or on a canyon overlook, or to the lapping of waves and the mewing of a distant gull. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com If you kick a stone in anger, you’ll hurt your own foot. ~Korean Proverb Anger as soon as fed is dead— ‘Tis starving makes it fat— ~Emily Dickinson, from “Cupid’s Sermon,” 1881 Not the fastest horse can catch a word spoken in anger. ~Chinese Proverb Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools. ~Albert Einstein No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched. ~George Jean Nathan Anger is short-lived madness. ~Horace Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love. ~George Eliot Before you give someone a piece of your mind, make sure you can get by with what is left. ~Author Unknown

If you’re angry at a loved one, hug that person. And mean it. You may not want to hug — which is all the more reason to do so. It’s hard to stay angry when someone shows they love you, and that’s precisely what happens when we hug each other. ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997 When I get mad, I stop being mad and be awesome instead. ~Author Unknown Do not teach your children never to be angry; teach them how to be angry. ~Lyman Abbott Anger blows out the lamp of the mind. ~Robert G. Ingersoll Get angry, get furious but never crumble to resentment. ~Dodinsky,www.dodinsky.com Sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel. ~Author Unknown Spite is never lonely; envy always tags along. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960 Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them. ~James Fallows At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled. ~Marshall B. Rosenberg Anger and folly walk cheek by jole. ~Benjamin Franklin Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them. ~Lemony Snicket If you are patient in a moment of anger, you will escape one hundred days of sorrow. ~Chinese Proverb You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger. ~Buddha If you get upset when the toast burns, what are you going to do when your house burns down? ~Author Unknown I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to. ~Author Unknown Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~Buddha Malice drinks one-half of its own poison. ~Seneca Can anger survive without his hypocrisy? ~Terri Guillemets Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before — it takes something from him. ~Louis L’Armour Never strike your wife — even with a flower. ~Hindu Proverb Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. ~Ambrose Bierce Changing from ‘kind regards’ to just ‘regards’, to indicate that you’re rapidly reaching the end of your tether. ~Rob Temple, @SoVeryBritish (Very British Problems: Making Life Awkward for Ourselves, One Rainy Day at a Time, 2013) When angry, count four; when very angry, swear. ~Mark Twain, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar Anger is a bad counselor. ~French Proverb Resentment is an extremely bitter diet, and eventually poisonous. I have no desire to make my own toxins. ~Neil Kinnock

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Buddah

“Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harms we do, we do to ourselves.”

 virtuosogal Mitch Albom quotes
About: Anger quotesHatred quotes.
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The worst-tempered people I’ve ever met were people who knew they were wrong. ~Wilson Mizner To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee. ~William H. Walton Two things a man should never be angry at: What he can help, and what he cannot help. ~Thomas Fuller The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk. ~Jacqueline Schiff Next time you’re mad, try dancing out your anger. ~Terri Guillemets When a man sends you an impudent letter, sit right down and give it back to him with interest ten times compounded, and then throw both letters in the wastebasket. ~Elbert Hubbard Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved. ~Marcus Antonius

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Gut Feeling.”

This wasn’t the last time but this is when I started really listening to my gut.  This was such a momentous occasion for me that I have always listened since and not just listened – acted!

My son who was 8 then is now close enough to 19 to call 19.

My son said “Mom, Can I go to the church next door?” I was working late and there was a church next door to my office.  I said, “Sure.”  But my gut was telling me, Do not let him go.  I remember arguing with myself, “Not letting him go is stupid.  Church is church.”  I talked myself into letting him go but could not shake the sense of doomsful foreboding I had.

A few hours later my son came back. He said, “They told me there was no such thing as Santa Claus.  This was around December 8 or so that this happened.  I was crushed.  I as a mother get to tell my children whatever lies I want to tell them.  This church had stolen part of his innocence.  Children are scared of Santa until they get almost too old to believe in him. He had not enjoyed that many years of conscious ignorant bliss yet.  I told my son, “If you don’t believe in Santa he won’t bring you any presents.”  My son and I did not speak of this again and while he pretended to be happy and surprised when Santa came for the next few years, I knew in my heart that part of his childhood had ended – wrongfully stolen by someone with no rights who – with a misguided since of righteousness decided to in “God’s name” steal from me and my son precious memories and moments that could never be replaced.  Being a mother of six, I remember the moment each child stopped believing or started questioning the reality of Santa.

This same night my son said, “They gave me a gift”  With trepidation I asked, “Really? What did they give you?”  After the shock of Santa nothing could be worse right?  He said, “They taught me how to speak in tongues.”  He proceeded to start babbling, smiling happily at me.

I sat him down and said, “Son, our church teaches if you speak in tongues there is someone around that can interpret what you are saying and you don’t just babble for no reason.”  I promptly called my sons’ Sunday School teacher and said please do not ask my son to pray in church for a while.”  The tongue speaking he did was beautiful as tongue speaking goes.

I did not allow him to attend that church again, but I did learn a valuable lesson.  If your gut says don’t do it, or don’t allow it, I don’t.  No questions asked.

Student Loans – What can I do? Can I do anything other than drowned?

WHERE DO I START?

The first thing you have to do is determine what type of loans you have and whether they are federal or private student loans or a combination of both. For federal student loans you can look at this website and retrieve your information.  You can find out how much you owe, the status of your loans and the types of federal loans that you owe.

https://www.nslds.ed.gov/nslds_SA/    https://studentaid.ed.gov/?login=true

Here is how to contact various federal loan servicers.

Loan Servicers

Aspire              cornerstone                 Direct               Edu                  Fed Loan         FFELP

Great Lakes                 GSMR              Heal                 Mohela             Navient

To find out what private student loans you owe pull your credit report. Go to https://www.credit.com/free-credit-score/

REPAYMENT WHERE DO I START?

How do I manage to repay my student loans?

Repayment plans                                 Calculators                   CALCULATOR          credit repair

You can go here for IBR/Pay as you earn/ ICR repayment plan requests and direct consolidation loan applications.

Cancellation discharge             teacher                        public service               disability           disability

consolidate                  Default             Deferment                   Forebearance              Poverty

Forgiveness                 IBR                  ICR                  STANDARD LOAN REPAYMENT PLANS

EXTENDED LOAN REPAYMENT PLANS                    INCOME DRIVEN PLANS

INCOME DRIVEN REPAYMENT PLANS                     Bankruptcy is this an option? I have only been able to discharge student loans once in 20 years of filing bankruptcy for folks. It’s hard to do but I have helped a lot of debtors get relief through IBR and so forth.

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Loan Servicers

Aspire              cornerstone                 Direct               Edu                  Fed Loan

Great Lakes                 GSMR              Heal                 Mohela             Navient

nelnet              OSLA               Perkins                        VSAC

scholarship search                   grant                Financial Aid Scams               FAFSA

What if I have been scammed?

Call your lender                      scams               Don’t pay for help to get money

FTC                 identity theft               credit and debt                        credit repair scams

 

Basics ( will add to this later)

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